arnie on arnie Two Arnies bought in junk shops; silver plastic molded Terminator Arnie and big-armed Last Action Hero Arnie get to know each other. Terminator is just two molded pieces of thin silver plastic, but Last Action Hero is a high quality articulated doll, with holes through his clenched hands which once clearly locked into something; a car, perhaps, or one of his enormous weapons.
furtive love Eighties Tom and the Mandy with less hair share a quiet moment, in a dim cupboard full of outsized porn. The very lurid looking book is a sexual study of the roots of sado-masochism, repackaged as porn for the sake of its extensive case studies, called The Desire to Dominate -- just one of a rather large collection of ill-informed and extraordinary sexology books I own.
arnie in frills With his huge fists and sullen expression, Terminator Arnie is a natural for cross dressing. The pink lingerie is from a strange blue-haired fashion doll I found at the market. The monkey under his feet is very old, one of the several disturbing toys made for me by my Granny, and the bells are a present from my sister George.
the gargoyle, the baby and the bifurcated phallus The little clay mentule is a good luck charm bought from an South American craft shop, and the lady holding it is the female gargoyle from the Gargoyles cartoon series. The little bottom-exposing baby-shaped cruet was bought as a quick route to potsherds for a Dragon Tree in trouble, but I found it some stones instead and chickened out of destroying it. That's two anodised metal candle-holders that it's sat in.
the buttock-firing tom's cop Tom of Finland doll? Novelty tampon holder? I'll never know, because I got him from a junk shop. He was a bit expensive (two whole pounds!) but (apart from his style and attitude) has enormous play value. Push his head forward, and his buttocks flip out, and usually fire off entirely, either straight up or over his head. He has little cavities in his buttocks, but I haven't figured out what they're for. See it in action.
seating solutions, various The postcard is one of a surprising number of things I own which say on them somewhere, "I saw this and thought of you." Witness the power of advertising. The awesome Mobius-style rider is a kinder egg toy, actually using the toy capsule! I hope someone got congratulated for that cleverness, as is the ray-rider. The human eye kit contains a self-assembly plastic anatomical model of an eye. I also have a heart and a brain, but unfortunately they weren't doing any of the more exotic organs.
dinosaur fantasy Oh dear, Callisto. With her super-manic grin and Ally MacBeal hair, she always looks sinister, no matter what context. Here she looks almost playful, under the watchful eyes of men from U.N.C.L.E Napolean Solo and Ilya Kuryakin. The thick leather belt is a luggage tie you get free when you travel Gulf Air, as an oil-rig worker friend often used to. The dress is Super-Sindy's non-super clothing, and it looks like she's nicked Blue Cobra's boots again. This picture is a tribute to Arthur Tress.
Hex is a slut pt. 1 Hexadecimal, possibly one of the finest character designs ever, has poppable face masks, startling boots, and legs that just fall apart, naturally. She doesn't stand too well, but maybe that's just being faithful to the whole corset and heels aesthetic. Unlike the White Queen, whose hands are presumably posed like that because she's doing something psychic with them. Nightcrawler is a natural lurker, and that thing he's lurking on is a large dinosaur. If you press his back, he roars. You can change the angle or look closer.
Hex is a slut pt.2 The little winged sheep is one of those farmhousey Christmas decorations you can buy, a sentimental animal made from natural, unbleached materials. My father gave it to me for Christmas, which is why I own it. I would not buy a toy like that. I hate things which pretend to be natural. Still, at least Hex is trying to corrupt it, bless its dumb little animal eyes.
made for love Surf City Midge is one of those dolls that remind you that once upon a time, barbie was a doll bought by men in raincoats from the same kiosks they bought their porn from. "Surf City" is the entry level £5 doll, barely articulated, her skimpy swimsuit and a cardboard surfboard her only accessories. The doll trying her luck is in the process of modification. I got her from the market, where she was dressed in a such a horrible dress that I stripped it off and handed it back to the stallholder, and bought the doll naked.
its okay sandra Sandra, my Sindy doll from when I was a child, has had a long and traumatic life, full of incident, modification, and accidental damage. Little Tommy Allen doesn't mind her weathered face, bitten off little finger, and broken waist, and wasn't put off by the fact that when he met her she was dressed as insane ninja babe Electra Assassin, complete with swords and lacy mask. Despite his youthful appearance, he's even older than she is; a child of the 70s, just like her. Her clothing is made from insulting tape and holographic tape, an eighties headband and a scrap of lace. His is model's own.
whispers and allegations The bizarre-looking doll with the Electra Assassin style costume is Sandra, my own Sindy Doll from when I was a child. Her costumes tend to be a little odd, as she gains most of her structural integrity from them; she's had a hard life, and comes apart in the middle unless held together by tape. Whatever she's being told by the Mandy with less hair, it seems to be scandalising Blue Cobra, but then he always looks a little startled. It's probably the mask welded to his face.
pocahontas tries it on But Xena is having none of it. She's amazing: another gift from a friend, lovingly made and with decidedly superior facial molding to any of the other Xena dolls I saw ever. He's from the market, I don't know who he is: I though he might be Pocahontas' boyfriend, as, though he was quite well made for a Disney toy, his costume was very Pocahontas -- an ugly scrap of gold and aqua felt. He's wearing Callisto's costume, complete with her falsies and shoes, which has transformed him into a slightly severe S/M Disco Diva. Supersindy's legs are just visible behind Xena. Isn't she pink? She dates from when Sindy were trying to compete with Barbie. Fools.
dirty, dirty dog! The Mandy with the most hair goes eek when the Playmobil dog (part of an animal playset consisting of a dog, a cat, a mouse, and an empty food bowl) starts sniffing where dogs like to sniff. Or does she? That's an awfully happy grin she's got there. The flared pink dungarees are vintage 70s gear belonging to my original Sindy, though the fluorescent green boob tube is what she came in. The translucent spotted box contained a present when I got it, but now holds my multiple flashing christmas lights from Habitat.