Alleged Literature >> Damian Cugley >> 2004 >> Feb.

Damian Cugley’s Archive

Fucking print my fucking file, or: When will Microsoft Windows be ready for the Desktop?

Sun. 1 Feb. 2004

All I want to do is print my fucking graphics files at a particular size on the fucking page. Nothing fancy. This image at this position at this size. That image at that position at that size.

I have writen a program that creates a PDF. My PowerBook can display the PDF, but since it will not connect to my network printer I cannot print it. Jeremy’s NT box can print but it cannot handle the PDF. My Linux box has a version of GhostView that can view PDFs but it cannot read my PDF either. I think the problem is that the PDF format has undergone several enhancements over the years and my PDF-generating program is using some newfangled format the other computers cannot grok (both the NT box and the Linux box being full of very outdated software). I am pretty sure I do not need any special PDF features to create my document. Is there a way to convert a new-format PDF to an old-format PDF? And why the hell are new versions of PDF incompatible with old viewers? Why can’t that at least display the parts of the document not using new features? Why do they have to crash? Why can’t anyone write a viewer that does not crash all the fucking time?

I have written a program (actually an XSLT) that uses SVG to lay out the graphics. All very simple stuff; the file has on its outermost svg element the attributes width="148mm" height="210mm". All very simple. As documented in the SVG specification. I can view this SVG on Jeremy’s Windows-NT box. When I print it, it comes out 115 mm wide and longer than the page (stretched so that the pictures look absurdly thin). What the fuck? What the fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fuck is this fucking shit!? The size of the fucking picture is explictly specified. The printer is a PostScript printer. The SVG vewier plug-in is written by Adobe, the people who specified the PostScript language, the people who contribued most of the printing know-how to the SVG specification, the people who wrote Appendix G of the Red Book that describes very clearly and in detail how printer drivers and printing programs can communicate with each other the requirements of the picture and in particular the dimensions of the fucking page. So what went wrong?

For that matter, why can’t Mac OS X talk to my network printer? The LPR protocol is not exactly a new idea. Mac OS 9 supported it (on and off, admitedly). Why can’t it just print to my printer? Why can’t I just tell it that there is a PostScript printer called lp on this machine and have it talk to the printer queue daemon and if that fails tell me exactly what stage in the printing stack has failed so I can fucking fix it?

It’s the year 2004 for fuck’s sake. Printers with Level 2 PostScript date back to the early 1990s. This is not fucking rocket science. I am not asking for flying cars or moon bases or protein pills. I just want to be able, with minimal fuss, to print a document containing some words and some pictures. Why is this still beyond us? Why?